The Evil Pedants

This page will give you a list of the current reviewers and their profiles. The list is ordered alphabetically to prevent bloody fights... (Actually, Elysa just wanted to be at the top.)

Elysa

  • Browser: Mozilla Firefox 3.0
  • Connection Speed: 1.5 Mbps
  • OS: Mac OS X 10.5
  • Resolution: 1280x800

As Veve likes to put it, my head is filled with too much technical mumble-jumble, despite my majoring in liberal arts. I am a big fan of simplicity. I value functionality and coordination above all. I believe that a well-designed website can be both practical and aesthetic. Excellent mechanical skills, good English usage, original content and eye-pleasing color schemes are ways to brainwash me into loving your site. On the other hand, my highest-ranking pet peeves include undistinguishable navigation, unreadable text, undecipherable typing and unloadable images.

Among the reviewers at Captious, I'm known to be just a little bit nicer than Veve... on fine days, of course. I tend to not be so nice when it takes forever and a day for a site to load fully in my browser *hint hint*.

Rilla

  • Browser: Mozilla Firefox 1.0
  • Connection Speed: 256 Kbps
  • OS: Windows XP
  • Resolution: 1024x768

I'm particularly picky on a fine day as I like balancing goodness and badness. So you may hope that the New Zealand weather is always bad. With that said however, I'm quite reluctant to cause web-dramas so I tend to take hours rephrasing to try soften my tone up a bit, even when I'm commenting about my utmost dislikes.

So here's a short little list of my "utmost dislikes": huge images (dimensions and file size), failure to achieve cross-browser (IE, Firefox and Opera) compatibility, horizontal scrollbars, layouts unsuitable for all resolutions 800x600 and up, pixel-stretches, intensive use of brushes, unreadable text, inconsistent organisation, "Under Construction" pages, broken links and images, automated popups of all kinds, monochrome designs, navigation that takes me more than five seconds to find... and so on.

Most of my reviews will be divided into these sections: design, content, coding and errors. But the sections will vary between sites.

Tyler

  • Browser: Mozilla Firefox 3.0
  • Connection Speed: 2.4 Mbps
  • OS: Mac OS X 10.5.6
  • Resolution: 1280x800

Neither EEP nor I appreciate half-assed tendencies when it comes to web development. Alongside critiquing the design, (both aesthetic and organizational), content, and coding of a web site, I like to see that the webmaster/mistress has taken the time to make his or her site original and user-friendly. To me, that includes the proper utilization of coding languages, relevance and usefulness of content, and evidence of attention to detail. If you're the type to update for the mere sake of updating, or your site sports a massive banner portraying multiple anime characters writhing beneath patterns, textures, and gradients, you should expect heaping spoonfuls of sarcasm and spite in my review. On the other hand, if I can see a legitimate attempt at providing quality content with a personal touch or two, I might even be inclined to share some of my dwindling chocolate rations with you.

If I choose to review your site, you can expect a thorough and detailed analysis with suggestions for improvement and practical resources to boot. I also try to offer multiple methods by which you may overcome the issues I have with your site.

Veve

  • Browser: Mozilla Firefox 1.0
  • Connection Speed: 5.0 Mbps
  • OS: Windows XP
  • Resolution: 1280x1024

I don't believe in grading, rating, critiquing or reviewing your site, although for simplicity's sake, we will call my commentaries as such. But really, that's all that they are—comments. How you perceive them is beyond my control, but let it be known that they are just opinions, just my opinion to be specific. (It was supposed to be this site's name, by the way—Just an Opinion—but I was bullied.) That being said, the tone of my reviews will depend greatly on my mood. If I'm happy and your site is crap, I might let you down a little easier. If I'm not, I'll let you know just how irritating your site can be. I believe in a balance among the appearance of the site, the content that it offers and the coding that holds everything together. No one component is more important than the others. My reviews can be broken down into two sections:

  1. Your main layout and its coding.
  2. The nature of your website. Does your content reinforce the purpose of the site? For example, if it's a graphic site, are you in the position to be providing graphics? If it's a shrine, does it have anything insightful, or are you confusing a shrine with a general fan-site? Stuff like that. And that's all there is to it.